The power of the spoken word! Research from the University of California found that women speak an average of 20,000 words every day, compared to men who speak only 7000. Yes…that is almost three times as many words from women! Now, that may not be shocking to some, especially the men who might be reading this, but, humor aside, it raises an interesting question for me. What are we spending so many words talking about?
I firmly believe that we all operate under the basic human truth that we seek authentic connection with the people in our lives. I don’t know of anyone who seeks relationships that are characterized by dishonesty, disrespect or superficiality. Seems crazy to even type it! Of course, we wouldn’t sign up for that! And yet, how many of would say that the words we choose at work, socially or otherwise are more intended to avoid conflict than to speak our truth.
The danger is the suppression of our own truth and broken relationships. Our truth in this context is everything from our fears to our heart’s cry for love to our everyday frustrations and literally everything in between. The practice of giving your heart the opportunity to speak is challenging. We struggle to find the words because it’s not cognitive or rational thought. It comes from the OTHER part of our brain. The Amygdala which is the part that houses emotions. Finding these words takes practice and let’s face it, courage.
In fact, when coaching clients, I refer to this as the “courage to declare”. Every human being has the right to declare needs, thoughts, desires, and passions. We forfeit our own sense of self every time we shut this down in part or in whole. To be created with a purpose by a loving God means those attributes and desires are not an accident (see Psalm 139:13-14). We will continue to feel a sense of internal loss every time we suppress our true self.
So, what does the “courage to declare” really mean? It starts with knowing what your purpose is! Research shows one of the main reasons people say they aren’t living the life they dreamed of is that they can’t even articulate what they want?! They simply haven’t taken the time (or prioritized the time) to do this one critical step to their happiness. In the midst of our busy lives, we dismiss this thought and put it off until we have time to think about it. if this is you, by chance, take heart! The best day to plant a tree is today, friend! Take a few quiet moments and think through some of the following questions to get you started
- If time, money or education were no concern or issue, what would you be doing with your life? When we think without boundaries we think bigger, and this step requires us to think beyond our current reaWhat
- Whats did you want to do when you were a kid….maybe 9-11 years old? When we go back to our childhood dreams these are typically the biggest ones before we knew what our so-called limitations would be.
- What topic of conversation excites you to talk about…you could literally stay up half the night engaged in a dialogue with a friend about this.
- What hobby or activity just fills you up and energizes you? It’s like your favorite comfort food…it calms you and refuels you
- What do your friends and loved ones say you are uber talented about? What do they seek your advice about? This tells you something about yourself!
These questions get you started on the road to discovering your God-given passion and talents. From there, you begin to build pathways into your life for this to breathe and come alive. The gift of having the courage to declare is that it brings color into your life. It brings purpose and offers moments of sheer joy and fulfillment. And as a Life Coach, there is an intense joy as I watch clients embark on this journey toward an intentional life.
I’d love to help you find your declaration. Reach out with a comment or message below.
Be blessed and #LiveLifeLoud